Tuesday Morning

On Tuesday, Nov. 1, 2022 I reached my limit. It had been building for a few months and I finally hit the wall on my way to work that morning. The closer I got to school, the more my anxiety increased. Something had to change or I was going to totally lose my sh*t at work. And so, unbeknownst to me at the time, that morning was the beginning. 

I've been seeing a counselor for years. I know the lingo and the importance of uncovering your past in order to see how it affects you today. Don't stifle things, let it out, identify the root cause, address it, move on. Sounds easy. If it was easy, I should be all better now, obv. 

But I'm not, so something must be wrong with me. 

My anxiety and depression was spiraling. I did not want to get deeper into the dark hole. I still don't want to. That place sucks, badly. 

This is how I'm battling it, how I'm fighting to get me back.

**I'm not silly enough or cocky enough to think that what I have to say is so life-changing and meaningful to others; that's not why I'm posting. Rather, this is me recording my thinking, getting down how I feel about things, journaling about my realizations and growth through this period of time in my life. 

And also because I thought those in my life might be interested in how I'm doing.