The Crown

The Crown, Season 3 Episode 7 “Moondust”

These were my thoughts while watching this episode and then immediately after it was over. It was about two weeks ago that I watched.

Hmm. Prince Philip and the landing on the moon. Prince Philip is glued to the tv, watching everything he can about the moon landing. He was jealous of the astronauts, that they had made it to the moon, they had seen it, God’s glory, his wonderful masterpiece. And yet they found nothing. They didn’t seem to appreciate their feat. The Prince wanted them to share with him this wonderful awareness they’d experienced. The answer to life, the purpose, the meaning.

The Prince met with them and was saddened to realize there was nothing extraordinary about them (the astronauts). He wanted to know their perspective, their learnings, their discovery of the meaning of life. The astronauts had none of that. They didn’t have the experience Prince Philip so badly wanted them to have - he wanted to live vicariously through them. He wanted to chase his dreams like they did. However, they could not answer the Prince’s questions. They didn't grasp the importance that their experience had on the Prince. Instead, they had questions for him - how many rooms in the Buckingham Palace, do the toilets flush themselves, how many miles of hallways in the Palace, where does he eat, does he watch tv, etc. The Prince was disappointed, to say the least. You could see the almost defeat in his face.

Then he went to a group of priests (or something) who had lost their luster and were meeting together in a form of group therapy (I think on the Palace grounds, but I'm not sure). Prince Philip admitted to them that he was obsessed with exercise, was easily agitated, cantankerous, felt the joy dripping from him, found little satisfaction with things, was in the middle of… he couldn’t say the word. I don’t know if he meant depression or like a midlife crisis. He apologized for “dissing” them earlier and now told them he had the utmost respect for them. He asked for help. **I know this show is not necessarily true in every sense, that is based on real life.

Prince Philip feeling lost and trapped, like he couldn't pursue what he wanted. No joy. Expectation upon expectations. And Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Their depression, battles with mental illness.

What’s my point? I don’t know. I just identify or relate with them, the Royal Family and Meghan. 

How sad that so many of us are sad and unfulfilled. And why is that? And how do we get out of it? How do we get to the point where we do what we want, we do want we enjoy, all without worrying about others’ perceptions or judgments or approval. How do we accept and enjoy ourselves?

Now my thoughts of today, two weeks after I watched this episode.

Last week I finished the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk. It's good. I'm starting to learn how the brain stores memories, how those memories reveal themselves, and what effect it has on the body. It's pretty something else. The way we store trauma is fascinating and eye-opening. I'm just on the tip of the iceberg as far as understanding. He also talks about being mindful, which is when I started to realize that I did not fully grasp the importance of it.

On Monday I started reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I am blown away by the book. It's a quick read and I plan to read it again as soon as I finish it tomorrow. It's been on my shelf for years and I FINALLY picked it up to read. More on this book later. Anyway, that's where my reading is right now, those two books. And we just finished season six of The Crown and we've watched the first three episodes of Harry and Meghan. I am so, so glad that Harry and Meghan are telling their story and their experiences. They are bringing mental health (specifically depression and anxiety) into the public view.

Crazy to relate to the Royal Family in this way. Depression, anxiety, alcoholism does not discriminate. I'm glad people are talking about it.

And the questions I asked above after watching that specific episode, the last thing I wrote before starting my thoughts for today? I feel like I'm at the very beginning of starting to find those answers for myself. Recovering and healing.