Guilt and Shame

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I've been feeling guilty and also a bit of shame about taking a medical leave. Rationally and intellectually I know it's ok. Emotionally and irrationally? Guilt and shame. I feel guilty about not being at work. I'm letting my students down. I'm a bad teacher. I feel bad about not contributing to the culture and environment at my school. I'm fearful my job won't be there for me. My colleagues are annoyed. They have stress, too. What makes me so special? Deal with, Miller. Get your shit together and get over yourself.

So, what do I do? Read. And read. And read some more. (And talk to my therapist, which happens in precisely 6 hours and 17 minutes.) 

The more I read, the more I learn about what I've been battling for many, many years. That knowledge is comforting. Turns out, I'm not alone after all.

Better days are coming. Getting me back.


Here are some resources about guilt and shame and depression:


https://psychcentral.com/depression/overcoming-guilt-in-depression


https://eddinscounseling.com/depression-understanding-shame-based-depression/


https://www.rewire.org/chronic-shame-and-depression-a-vicious-cycle/

Comments

  1. Penny SoutarJanuary 4, 2023 at 10:52 AM

    Healing is hard work!! If you had cancer, would you feel guilty for fighting for your life? Society has taught us that mental illness is 'less than' physical illness. People would never dream of saying, "Have you tried NOT having cancer?" Yet we who battle mental illness face myriad opinions and advice from those who are deniably unqualified. Keep fighting...my thoughts are ever pulling for you.

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